Tuesday 23 December 2014

Tic-tac Tic-tac

As i sit down to write another blog, my mind is totally blank. There is an urge to write but no ideas come to mind. What do i write about? There are loads of things happening in my life but then what is that one thing that i can write about? To sit down in front of the computer and start writing itself requires courage, i feel.

So then, i have just mustered some courage to write. Just to write. Dont know what to write about. There is a clock in my room whose tic-tic sound just reminds me of the time passing by. Moments passing by, Each moment passed by is a moment closer to death; closer to the ultimate inevitability of life itself. I feel at ease but at the same time there is a yearning- a yearning that before i hit the bed i must accomplish something, anything but not nothing. My research topic for Mphil remains in limbo. I keep getting frustrated on thinking about India's disastrous bowling in the ongoing test series against Australia. Why the hell did Sachin not reveal more than a mere summary of his cricketing career.

Thought then goes to my father. Where must he be? Has he already toddled his way into a new family, where he must be beginning to walk? Or is he still taking his time in heaven, probably reminiscing about times spent with his elder brother, who preceded him by a few days?

I do feel life throws up new opportunities everyday. But brooding about something in the past, or thinking hard about an interesting future, i while away my present. It seems crazy at times but this convoluted state, i feel is a bliss. It keeps me going. It keeps me engaged. But is it productive? Some say be productive than be busy. I do feel that is the way to go about life. Met an old and precious friend in Khan Market after a long long time. the walk around the market, seeing the posh south Delhi crowd, does give a high. As my friend and me take a selfie, i feel that i must take out time to write more. It has taken me a mere 5 minutes to finish this piece and i feel as time goes by i am getting more and more engaged with myself. May this continue little longer. Tic-tac tic-tac.

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